this is a type of autobiographical work. biased, of course.
larry d. rosalez-lewis
26yrs old | gainesville, fl
unaffected | SO I PRAY
i’ve been a little numb and unaffected lately. the police shot another black man. michael brown. i haven’t read the details.
i’ve watched porn, i’ve watched lost, i watched lucy last night, i’ve read about beyonce and kim kardashian, i’ve posted instagram pictures, i’ve chilled & relaxed and had coffee & lunch but i haven’t read the details of his death. i haven’t read much of the details of anything except junk, junk, junk, junk, junk, junk, junk.
i haven’t read scripture, haven’t written, haven’t sang, haven’t prayed, haven’t gazed on beauty, haven’t inhaled grace. i’ve been numb and unaffected. so i pray, stir my heart again. capture my mind & my capacity to think & to feel & to love.
12 aug 2014
Modern man is no longer interested in finding the truth. Rather, he is interested in being validated. So much of what passes for news can be easily disproved, or at the very least can be found to be evidence neutral, but because it sounds good and feels right, it is correct enough.
I tell my students, ‘When you get these jobs that you have been so brilliantly trained for, just remember that your real job is that if you are free, you need to free somebody else. If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else. This is not just a grab-bag candy game.’
— Toni Morrison (via ethiopienne)
Anonymous said: Why did you shave off your beautiful hair!? 😱😱
i’m still figuring that out. i know that i wanted to, and i know that i don’t regret it. there’s were a lot of impulses leading up to it, and i didn’t feel like i needed to know the exact why to i cut it this time around. i followed the impulse before i had a concrete why and i think it’s valuable to search for and find the meaning from this event.
so here’s some of what was rattling around in my head:
i felt like it was time to. i didn’t set out to grow it forever, so it was more like asking “if you feel like it, why wouldn’t you shave off your hair?”
it was getting big & distracting, the dandruff was getting annoying, and for a couple months i’d been having these fits of rage/frustration/inspiration/excitement like “i’m gonna cut all this sh*t off!”
i like the representation of renewing or a new season or a starting over altogether. i remember having an “i’m gonna cut all this sh*t off” fit right after that night i had sex.
i don’t wanna be too attached to something as external as hair.
it feels good to rub tea-tree and coconut oil on my scalp.
there’s something rewarding about the detachment from it — being able to exercise the autonomy to cut it, knowing that it can grow again, the anticipation leading up to the cut, the change of sensation.
sometimes after dancing for a few days before a wash it smelled bad.
i knew cutting it would challenge people to disassociate me from just hair: “the guy with the hair.”
i looked at old pictures and remembered liking the way the buzz looks on me.
i wanted to film it/document it and use the imagery for something later.
it’s like an external landmark for an internal shift.
i wanted to try letting it loc from the beginning and i know if i want to, it will grow back.
Anonymous said: Noooo :(
it is what it is.